Happy New Year!
I cannot speak for you, but I’ll be honest: 2018 was a doozy of a year for me. A doozy! It wasn’t bad per se, but it was quite challenging. There were so many highlights. My 2018 highlight reel is popping’! The blog not only bears witness to the highlights—the external, tangible ways in which God blessed in our marriage, motherhood, and ministry—but it is also evidence itself of how God has moved in my life and ministry. Getting the website and blog up and running was answered prayer in and of itself. I know there were times I left you hanging. I didn’t write as much. Sometimes that happened because I was super busy (ahem, keeping up with these girls is something else). Most times I was silent because I was in a low. And the lows were low, the fog was dense, the darkness ominous, the questions many, and the answers few.
As 2018 came to a close, I could deeply identify with the words of author and anthropologist Zora Neale Hurston:
And 2018 left me with no shortage of questions…
Who am I? How can I nurture my relationship with God in the midst of busyness? Who is God calling me to be? What is God calling me to do? How do I stay in my lane—the calling to which God has called me—when I have a tendency to compare myself with other fabulous women preachers who are seemingly in the zone? How do I hold all of my roles in tension and not lose myself? When will I find time to do the things that bring me joy? What does joy even mean for me? How do I hold on to some semblance of joy as fall and winter approach? What am I doing? Why am I doing it? Am I doing too much? Am I doing enough?
There were more. Too many to write.
But I’m so glad that the chapter has been closed on 2018. The questions haven’t been answered, but that’s ok. I have a deep knowing that this is going to be a year that answers. A year that responds. A year that resolves. A year that clarifies and fulfills. And while it’s going to be a year that answers, I know that the answers will not just fall into my lap. I have to look for the answers, be open to the answers. seek out the answers, and dig deep for the answers that are already within. I have no doubt that God will reveal the answers that I need in order to be the woman He has called and created me to be AND to live a life that is worthy of the calling to which He has called me.
Which leads me to vision…
In the wisdom of Proverbs we find these words:
Where there is no vision, the people perish…
Some translations say, “the people are unrestrained...” In other words, to be without vision is to be moving about aimlessly, carelessly, directionless in ways that can lead to destruction and death. Vision can lead you to questions. And vision can lead you to answers. I would argue that answers cannot come without vision—without foresight and insight.
So in anticipation of answers, I sat down with my accountability partner last Friday in our annual vision board creation fellowship to reflection on the experience of the year, wrestle with the questions, and with creative tools, prepare a visual reminder to me that the answers are coming. With the Starbucks playlist as a soundtrack, I flipped through magazines, cut out words that spoke to me and my longing for answers, and paste them together as God led me. The finished product resonated so deeply I cannot explain it. The answers are coming. The answers are here. And for the next 365 days I promise to share the answers that come through prayer and lived experience, that they may be a blessing to you as you wrestle with your own questions and seek your own answers.
Dear Readers, here is to a year of vision that leads to answers and answers that lead to life! What are you looking forward to in 2019?