Motherhood Monday: Surrender to What Is / by Donna Olivia Owusu-Ansah

Full Disclosure: I was not the girl who imagined myself married with children. I love my life, but I saw myself as an untethered preacher, scholar and writer jet-setting around the world doing my thing.    My now thing is so beautiful and so far from what I imagined. And at times—like when the decibel level in our home exceeds a certain point or I’m so tired from the tasks of home life that I have no energy left to think or write—I lament what could have been. Recently I’ve realized that my lamentation has caused me to miss precious time and opportunities to cultivate what is and trust God for what will be.   So I’ve decided to surrender to the fullness of my life. I’ve decided to surrender to the ever present laundry, the girls’ full schedule, my increased opportunities for ministry, my Baby Girl’s tantrums and ‘tude, and my Big Girl’s need to be close to me. I’m learning how to think, prepare, write, and teach with the girls right there in the mix where they feel secure. I’m learning to let some stuff go and to recognize the blessing of closet doors.   You know what I realized?  

Full Disclosure: I was not the girl who imagined myself married with children. I love my life, but I saw myself as an untethered preacher, scholar and writer jet-setting around the world doing my thing.  

My now thing is so beautiful and so far from what I imagined. And at times—like when the decibel level in our home exceeds a certain point or I’m so tired from the tasks of home life that I have no energy left to think or write—I lament what could have been. Recently I’ve realized that my lamentation has caused me to miss precious time and opportunities to cultivate what is and trust God for what will be. 

So I’ve decided to surrender to the fullness of my life. I’ve decided to surrender to the ever present laundry, the girls’ full schedule, my increased opportunities for ministry, my Baby Girl’s tantrums and ‘tude, and my Big Girl’s need to be close to me. I’m learning how to think, prepare, write, and teach with the girls right there in the mix where they feel secure. I’m learning to let some stuff go and to recognize the blessing of closet doors. 

You know what I realized?  

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When I surrendered, life flowed a bit easier. When I surrendered, I was calmer and more patient with myself and others. When I surrendered my life felt more integrated. When I surrendered, I was transformed.

I am a mother and a preacher. When I surrender, I realize I can actually be both at the same time. I can be present for my children and serve God. This past week we had Images of Sisterhood, our monthly Women’s fellowship meeting. I was set to facilitate the meeting. I could have left the girls at home with my mother-in-law, but truth was she’s leaving soon and they have to get used to being in tow. I packed a bag—workbooks, pencils, coloring books, crayons, mancala, and connect four. We stopped at Dunkin Donuts for breakfast and arrived early enough for me to set them up. They had enough to keep themselves occupied. 

Part way through, Baby Girl needed mommy. She got up from the table, gave me a look and started to move towards me. Instead of shooing her away, I opened my arm to invite her over, held her close and continued teaching. One of the ladies captured the moment on camera. This is the other side of surrender. 

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Dear Readers, what idea from the past are you holding on to? What do you need to surrender to? Leave a comment...let’s chat.